dude, I was just about to take an aspirin

He was a spry guy who tended to jump about rather than walk from room to room. I did not think he remembered me when I'd been in his apt after Neil and Valerie's performance at the Lion D'Or in Montreal, so I went to Neil's kitchen past clutches of other people to get a glass of water. I was tired from driving Maria and me from Hull, MA to Montreal. My left arm was sunburned. My left thigh was just a bit of brown. And I was waiting for Maria to say OK she'd had enough, and get Valerie's keys so we could crash in her apt.

I gulped water down as monkey man came up to me and started up the conversation we'd last had in his own apt about refrigerator sized servers so that he could house numerous cartoon characters in it to create a community of cartoon workers. Or something like that. He spoke fast and quietly with enough of a French accent to make me bend close. "Oh really," I said finally, hoping that was a correct response. "Wow" I concluded. I was barely able to hold my head up. tired tired tired.

I was left alone in the kitchen with the bags of unopened potato chips which I opened. I munched, correctly thinking that the host would forget about ordering real food. I headed to Neil's front room. It's filled with real plants. A dark red paint covers the wall. There is one chair in it positioned in front of the window that's getting an actual breeze. I sit in the dark, thinking that if anyone discovers I'm here it will be confirmed that I am weird. Next thing I know, the overhead light gets flipped on, and Valerie's lipsticked mouth is in front of me talking about her apartment and how to get in. I think I understand her, but she speaks so quickly and she mixes in personal talk that interferes with the needed apt information. Her eyes are popping out as she sort of pretends that the bald guy who hovers near her always is not really her boyfriend, or is he? "Me, I have thirty three years and I have known him for twelve, it's like we have grown up together, and I do not know how he feels about me."

"So I use this key to get in the front door, and these other keys to get to the two locks on your door?"

"And men if they do not first respect me as a woman, they cannot expect to see me as a wife or mother!" Her lipstick stays on her lips without getting on her teeth. I want to ask her about that, how she does that, but know that I will never ever be able to ask her more than one question per visit with her, and that she will never answer it.

Somehow she believes me that I have followed her instructions and gives me the keys. I follow her back to the living room to get another glass of water. Maria is there talking to Neil's daughter Charlie. "We're gonna go soon," Maria promises. I look around and see really nice people I've enjoyed talking to in the past, but have no energy to say anything. I think if I sit back on one of Neil's big cushions and look relaxed and not try to get into the myriad of conversations around me that people will leave me in my own sphere. Also, I am starting to get one of my headaches. I wait before taking an excedrin. It's at a 1.0 level, 1 on a scale of 10. I figure if it gets up to a 2.5 I'll take one. I'd taken a quite a bit for the past few days and try to clean out my system when possible. Too much excedrin can harm the liver...or is that just Tylenol?

Neil is back in the room and he's directing the monkey to me. "Do Sheila, do Sheila," he encourages. Monkey is darting around looking for something on the cluttered coffee table. "What does he do?" I ask. "He's psychic. He's really good at it, and I think you'll love it," he says. Well if neil is encouraged, I am too.

Monkey sits near me so that we can look into each other's eyes. He's got slips of paper and a pencil, and I am reminded of the game Balderdash, the game of Learning Laughing and Lying. "Think to yourself the name of your mother." I do. "Think about her name and then look right into my eyes." I see his blue green eyes lock into mine and then shift as though they're dials on a safe. I don't think I'd ever seen that kind of movement before in a pair of eyes. He jolts a little and then writes something down on the first slip of paper. He crumples it up into a spit wad and places it before me. "Now write down the answer and put it in front of you." I do this, thinking, No way will he get Kayrene. No way. Maria doesn't even know it and she's known mom for 5 years?

He reads my answer slowly. "How do you pronounce this name?" he asks. I tell him, emphasis on Reen. He nods his head and then says, think about a four digit number and then look at me. His eyes do that weird dialing thing again and then he writes down and creates spit ball #2. I write my answer down.

Same thing goes for month of my birthday and whether it's black or white.

I then open the four spit balls. Karine is the first answer. He's spelled Kayrene phonetically in his Quebecer way, He gets 8852. He gets Janvier. He gets the 50-50 shot of white.

I announce his power to the party. I go to Maria who loves all things psychic. "Do me, do me," she pleads. I sit with her and the spit balls he makes and he gets her info correct too. Philomene Mari especially. She demands more of him. "Do MORE!" He doesn't want to do more, since he's emphasized that it's a party trick. No hassles. But she gets him to give more answers. The name of her father. Her last name. The name of her editiing house. She demands that he answer non-party tricks. She insists that he's not just psychic, but is a healer too. She asks him silently to take away my headaches, which I find out about the next day. A moment later, he holding his head. "Ow, ow!" He asks his girlfriend Isabelle for aspirin. She looks in her bag but doesn't have any. I go to my bag and pull out the Excedrin that I was going to take but don't have to anymore. I hand him the tablets and say, I had a headache. But you must have taken it from me. He almost starts crying, Ow, Ow. He takes the pills, gulps them down and is gone. Ten minutes later he gives me the thumbs up. His headache is gone. I don't say much. because mine is still gone. I feel guilty that he's got my headache and has to take pills for relief. He kind of steers clear of me, and I don't blame him. It's probably why he jumps around from person to person so that he doesn't take on too much.

Also I am energized beyond belief, the 2nd wind kicking in, and I stay in Neil's pink room that's filled with plastic flowers and plants. There's a window in this room, too, though not much of a breeze. We talk with Isabelle some more and finally leave for Valerie's new apt. Her bald man friend. Simone, whose name makes me laugh thanks to Joe and katie's little white dog, is looking very happy as Maria and I take off with Valerie's keys.